By Kirsten Nicole
June 28, 2023
My current work-in-progress deals majorly with grief and loss of a loved one. As I have prepared for this project and researched, there has been one theme that ran through it all.
Grief looks SO different for everyone.
Personality, past experience, relationship with Christ all play into how people cope with grief, whatever the cause of it may be. Even those who are faithfully relying on Christ and trusting in the sovereignty of God are not going to respond in the same way.
Anger, denial, depression...these are all natural responses to a loss, particularly the loss of a loved one.
That said, there are some ways of coping that are universal. So, since these lessons are at the forefront of my mind, here are some things I have learned from wise people about healthy, Godly grieving through death.
Dear one, there is hope and peace that surpasses understanding-- in Christ alone.
Have your theology in place before a tragedy. Having this established beforehand will help you in weathering the storm while remaining focused on Christ.
Pray. God will provide for your needs.
Let yourself cry.
It is possible to grieve and move on.
Don't ever tell a grieving person to "get over it."
Grieving can last for many, many years. And that is okay. As mentioned above, it is possible to grieve and move on and live a healthy life.
Look around. Others will be hurting too. Turn your attention to serving others. It is easy to become withdrawn while grieving, but focusing on others is healing.
If struggling with anger toward God, be honest with Him about what you are feeling. He already knows.
Talk with someone.
If you have someone in your life who is grieving, bringing up their loved one in a conversation can be viewed as taboo. But talking about it won't suddenly remind your grieving friend of what they have lost. Oftentimes, it will speak love to them that you remember their loved one, as they are constantly thinking about that person.
This is a season. There will be a new normal. Things won't be the way they were before, but the Lord will bring peace, and this season of darkness will pass.
Grief takes time. Give it time.
As I continue to work on this project, I would love to hear your input. What is Godly advice on how to cope with grieving? What are some things you should or should not do for friends walking through grief?
Being seen as a vulnerable person, with a purpose while experiencing the grieving process is a delicate and definite need In my own personal journey. The very recent loss of my dad has brought to the forefront an intensity in my calling to serve Christ earnestly with the gifts, talents and abilities that he has uniquely stamped upon my life. Reinforcing the truth of Gods call to salvation, accepting that call and choosing to be obedient to Christ during the grief process is a also a huge part of servanthood. Allowing myself to be vulnerable and trusting that God will continue to guide me in where I am to serve, who I am to serve with is a huge, huge…
I feel like we always want to say the right thing, the smart thing. Silence is golden and a hug goes a long way.