The Best Kind of Tired

By Kirsten Nicole

July 12, 2023

This is the week of Vacation Bible School. The week when I practically live at my parents' church (my former church). The week when I use so much mental and physical energy. But in the midst of the chaos of wrangle 80+ young ones, the kind of tired that is VBS tired is the best kind of tired there is.

In 2018, I began work on my MA in Creative Writing. It was clear that was the direction the Lord was leading. He opened all the doors and made the way clear for that to happen. I graduated with my BA in the fall of 2017 and by January of 2018 jumped right into the next academic pursuit. It had been a rigorous and focused couple of years with my BA, trying to get through all of the general ed requirements as quickly as possible.

That first semester of MA was hard. It was a higher level of work. But it was also so much fun. I was learning more about the writing craft than I ever had in my life, and I had classmates who really pushed me to look at literature in a totally different and craft-oriented way. It was a season of life that could be called...personal investment, investing time, money, and energy--both mental and physical-- into a future and possible career in writing. Whatever the case, the academic rigor had other benefits as well, including diligence and self-motivation. But it was primarily a time of self-focused investment. My goal was to do so in a short period of time.

I sacrificed time with family to pursue academics, and I probably sacrificed some friendships. Do I regret that? Yes. I had also become irritable, stressed, and burnt out. I would be annoyed by things that were inconsequential, and I found myself pulling away from relationships because I just didn't have the time and energy to devote to them that was necessary.

Early 2018, my friend, Kayla, approached me after church and said "Hey, the former VBS coordinators are stepping down this year. Wanna co-lead?"

No, in fact. I didn't. I had actually considered stepping down from helping in VBS entirely, which was a significant change from my previous full summer devotion to VBS in various ways. It was too much work. Overwhelming to consider. But I told her I would pray about it.

By the next Sunday, not only had the Lord totally changed my heart, He'd given me a great excitement for the summer ahead. And because summer classes in my MA were significantly more expensive than semester classes, I was forced to take a hard break from everything school related.

And it was the best summer I had had in a very long time. My entire focus shifted from me and investment in my future to others and how to make VBS a blast for volunteers and kids alike. My focus shifted to service and sharing the Gospel in a way that was meaningful and deep. I was exhausted, but it was the best exhausted I had ever experienced. It wasn't the cranky, stressed exhausted that I'd experienced for the last couple of years. It was a blessed exhaustion.

God created us to serve others, and while we may find ourselves tired in doing so, the end result is so fulfilling. That said, I was also being filled with Scripture as I worked hard on Bible Drama and writing skits with other wise and believing women. They were mentoring, encouraging,and praying for me, and filling my mind and heart with Christ. I wasn't serving out of my own strength, but from the strength of the Spirit and God's Word.

The Lord filled and then the Lord pointed where I was supposed to pour out. And I realized how important, even in the seasons of busyness and personal investment (which are sometimes necessary), service is so important. Eternal focus is so important.

So, as I'm practically brain dead and tired, sitting here, (writing this blog post because I'm determined to write one three times a week for the entire summer), it's a good tired. It's a fulfilled tired. It's a satisfied tired. And that is the best kind of tired there is.