Driving Ms. Carol

June 5, 2023

By Kirsten Nicole

After graduating high school, I was offered a job as a "chauffeur" twice a week for an elderly lady in our community named Ms. Carol. Ms. Carol was the grandmother of a friend and was beginning to experience the effects of dementia. Due to this, she had lost her ability to drive, so she needed someone to take her on errands. Enter "graduate-in-need-of-a-part-time-job-while-getting-degree." Me.

I have a very close relationship with my grandparents, so I knew that this was going to be a fun job! And it was, friends. It truly, truly was.

Ms. Carol worked as a secretary for many years of her life. She always said, "Old secretaries die hard." Without fail, Ms. Carol always had a full face of makeup, flawless hair, a coordinated, elegant outfit, and nails painted daily to match. I don't know that I ever saw her in jeans or a pair of sweats, and I certainly never saw her without jewelry. Think complete and total opposite of "grunge."

On our trips, twice a week, we would go to the bank, get her hair done, make a Walmart stop, drive through the park, and usually, get an ice cream cone. Ice cream cones were her favorite sweet treat. If we had extra time, we might stop by Creator Delights for a coffee or poke around the Dollar Store or the Flea Market for fun. We worked through my school schedules, a trip overseas, the COVID year.... She experienced many of my big life changes, and she was always so encouraging and supportive.

Twice a week, every week, I would spend two hours with Ms. Carol. We talked and laughed and shopped, and watched movies and played Scrabble when rain storms canceled outings. On occasion, we would even head to Springfield, forty-five minutes away, pick up one of her old friends and spend an afternoon on the town. On the way home, we'd listen to opera or old hymns, and she would comment on the beauty of music. She was a lovely singer herself. We picked out flowers to cover the entirety of her back porch--spending equally as much time choosing the perfect flowerpot to go with them--, and I memorized the brands of staple goods that she liked and where we found them....

Nail polish dryer spray = Sally's Beauty Supply

Pond's Cold Cream = Walmart, bottom shelf, green lid

Cookies = iced animal crackers

As I finished my Master's and started looking at careers, God knew that I wouldn't leave Ms. Carol to get a job in another city...the place where He ultimately wanted me. So, He planned ahead and moved Ms. Carol to Oklahoma first. Exactly one year before I would move to Springfield. It was a hard transition, but the Lord was preparing us both for new seasons of life.

When I took the job, I thought that I would be blessing someone else.

But in reality, Ms. Carol blessed me and taught me so much about the beauty and joy of life.

• She taught me that it's okay to enjoy dressing up and put an effort into looking nice.

• She taught me to stop and appreciate the intricate detail of the leaf on the ground and to praise the One who had designed it.

• She taught me to look up. To admire the clouds and the splendor of the One who put them there.

• She taught me to love flowers.

• She taught me to be disciplined and dedicated, as she would take her walker, even when in pain, and walk the halls of the assisted living facility where she lived, just so she could get some exercise.

• She taught me to thank God audibly for the beauty of creation and the anticipation of Heaven.

• She taught me to be intentional. Even in battling short-term memory loss, if she knew something was important to me, she would write it down and put it in a place where she would see it and be reminded of it.

• She taught me to pray for others as she did so faithfully for me.

• She taught me to slow down. To appreciate the small moments. To love Jesus.

I miss Ms. Carol and our weekly outings, and I am so grateful for the six years I got to spend with her. But if I don't see her again in this life, I take comfort in knowing that I will see her again in a place with no dementia, no arthritis, no short-term memory loss. Just joy, complete healing, and endless praising of our Savior...together.